a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barsexuality is the new black.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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