Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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