i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
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The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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