Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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