And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i dont even know how to be here
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
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I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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