So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
