You're completely useless in the revolution.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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