I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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