What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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