God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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