another moral hangover. fuck.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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