Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize