my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
