I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
