I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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