I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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