I intend to get homeless drunk
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All the doctor said was why
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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