if i can run in heels then i can drive
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We are two peas in an std pod
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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