his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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