Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
