Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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