So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
