...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
