I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
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I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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