We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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