the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
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Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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