I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
