i already hear my dad disowning me
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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