these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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