What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
