ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
