i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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