I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
