but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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