I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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