People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
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He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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