Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
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Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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