And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i wish my penis had a tongue
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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