in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
