She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
