i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
