I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
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I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
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White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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