Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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