I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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