Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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