Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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