It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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