she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize