Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
