I hate your face
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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