Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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