When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dick very happy bro
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
