ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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