theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
