Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
