How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
