I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Two words: nipple clamps
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